Day 1: Durango to the top of Stoney Pass
- Approx mileage: 93.5
- Approx elev gain: 18,700 ft
Besides my struggle with the smoke and the resulting poor quality of sleep, I can say a lot about the success of my race in the context of my other main challenge: my inner-dialogue. I had been dreaming of this record for a long time and to be finally out there attempting to execute it was nearly overwhelming. In the days leading up to the race I had thought a lot about the best way to address my goals during the race; a record run would be very weather dependent, a win in the women’s field would be very dependent on how my competition showed up. I did not want these realities to get in my way of trying hard. I did not want to give up if I was not winning or was not going to make it within 5 days. So what was the best way to hold onto my goals and still leave space for tryhard in the event of failure?
I don’t know.
Suddenly it was 4 am, Sunday, August 10th, and I was starting the race with my husband at my side (his first year racing!) and 65ish other competitors. While the initial excitement carried me through town and up the first climb out of Junction Creek, I quickly found myself swimming in the thoughts I had hoped to avoid. I was already exhausted from a lack of adequate sleep the three nights prior, I was not feeling very confident on the descents, the first place woman was nowhere in sight, and my shifting was not working correctly.
As Mark and I yoyo-ed back and forth, I shared my woes with him and he stopped to give me a hug while I filled up water. I passed him shortly after that and would not see him for the rest of the race. I told the rest of the riders that I passed that I was offering neutral hugs in exchange for the one I had received, but no takers.
Between Mark’s encouragement and the stoke of riding with other racers, I was able to lift myself up a bit and enjoy the really fun riding from Blackhawk pass to Silverton.
I arrived in Silverton shortly after Scott, chatted a bit with him, but tried to focus on making an efficient resupply. I had already decided to stop at Cathedral (less than 70 miles away), so I did not need to carry much with me; I bought some candy and snacks along with some pre-made pasta salad to eat before I left. I charged my electronics a bit, used the bathroom, refilled my water, and before I left a local CTR diehard, Artec, came over to chat with me. I was surprised when he let me know that the first place woman had not left town yet. I thought he must be wrong, since when I arrived I checked trackleaders to see that her dot had pinged 30 minutes ago in town. I assumed she had already left and her tracker just had not sent another point.
Artec said no, that she had not ridden by, and that she was likely scratching given the length of her stay. I was disappointed to hear this, but not surprised. Even at that point I already had an inkling that there would be quite a few scratches due to smoke.
I was back on the bike within an hour of arriving in town, and shortly up stoney pass caught Scott who was hiking his bike up one of the steep bits. Riding up Stoney, I was surprised to find it less chunky than I had remembered it feeling on the descent the year before. Sometimes it was too steep to ride, but mostly Scott and I were able to granny gear up it, moving at about 1000 ft/hour. We switched our headlamps on as dusk turned to dark, and stayed together most of the way to the top where I got slightly ahead of Scott and then missed the turn onto the singletrack! Thankfully I only rode an extra 400 yds down the road, but backtracking always hurts!
Once I was on the singletrack, I started looking for a place to camp, knowing that I did not really want to climb past the headwaters of the Rio Grande. I found a spot in some willows that was warm enough and set my alarm for 3:15am.
Day 2
- Approx mileage: 105
- Approx elev gain: 13,100
Although my cough kept me up much of the night, I felt rejuvenated when I started riding the next morning. I was still sleepy, but my legs felt fresh and I had evacuated most of whatever had been in my lungs and sinuses, so I could breathe much easier than the night before.
I could see headlights of riders behind me within the first hour of riding and after I stopped for an alpine poo, they started to catch up to me (thankfully not while I was squatting over the small hole I had dug). Austin passed me first, coming off of a big sleep the night before, then Willis caught up with me. We leapfrogged and caught two more riders near the high point. The trail was a lot more rideable than I expected, and before I knew it, Willis was bombing past me on the last descent before the rocky Jerosa Mesa trail that guarded the way into Spring Creek Pass. Even that went quicker than I had anticipated. After ruining a NOBO’s hikers day with the news of the impending stampede of mountain bikers, I was at the top of Spring Creek pass.
I caught back up to Willis at the pavement, and we discovered a riding routine that would dictate our next two days together as we leapfrogged back and forth. He would drop me on the descents, I would catch back up on the climbs. It was fun to have a riding buddy and Willis was really stoking me out to chase the record.
I motored through the Slumgullion climb chasing down Austin, only to be dropped, again, on the descent. I held Willis off until Cathedral Ranch, where I stopped to resupply and was surprised to find Matt Annabel. Catching him was a real morale boost since I knew what a crusher he was. He and Willis were out of the resupply before I was, but I caught both of them on the road detour before Willis pulled away again when I stopped to get water at Lujan creek (he had stopped at an earlier access point). We crossed paths one more time that night when he cheered me on a few hours later as I passed his bivy spot. Another mile or so down the trail I found a warm, soft spot for my own camp somewhere in the endless puds going up to Sergeant’s. It was 10:45 pm and I was ready to call it a day.
Day 3
- Approx mileage: 93
- Approx elev gain: 13, 500 ft
I slept well that night and when my alarm went off at 3:30, I decided to sleep in for an extra hour to try and capitalize on the good sleep. This ended up being a mistake; I did not feel any more rested when I started moving than I had the day prior. At the end of the day, when I missed the resupply hours in BV by 15 minutes, I was really regretting that extra hour.
That day I felt slow, I was thankful to be leapfrogging with Willis, but the high altitude puds (Pointless Up and Downs) in between Cochetopa and BV made for mentally challenging riding. Even the Foose’s descent, which I had been looking forward to, felt clunky and slow. By the time I realized I was not going to make it to BV, it was 9:45pm and I had spent a whole day slow rolling, stopping too much, and worrying about my position relative to the record dot (at that point I was a few miles behind). The only comfort was that there was no point in moping, so I shifted my plan and started pedaling hard on the collegiate wilderness road detour.
I stopped at the office at Cottonwood Hot Springs where they had a limited selection of snacks. I considered buying enough to get me to Copper, but the selection was so limited and the receptionist was already very weirded out at the amount I was buying. So, I got enough to get me to Leadville and pressed on, enjoying some fast miles after the slow day. As I rolled through BV, I considered paying for a hotel room, but knowing I could not get anything for less than $100 even if there was something available, decided not to. Instead, I found a place to camp in between the cactus alongside the numbers road and bedded down for the night. I stuffed myself with the pretzel chips and trail mix I had bought from Cottonwood and quickly fell asleep.
Day 4
- Approx mileage: 90
- Approx elev gain: 13,100
I started rolling early the next day at 3:30am and was struggling to layer properly from the start. The road riding was uphill, but still very fast and quite cold, so I needed my pants and jacket, but once I was on single track climbing out of Clear Creek I was way too hot. The start of the descent was warm, but quickly cool enough for my jacket. I thought I would be fine without my pants as the sun rose through the rolling terrain through Twin Lakes, but I ended up chilling myself to the point of exhaustion and taking a nap as soon as it was warm enough to do so.
The infamous Cade passed me while I was napping at the Mt. Elbert Campground, so I only got to hear his epic story clawing back to second place after I finished.
I felt a lot better after my nap, and was mentally ready to push. Although it had not been part of my original plan, I was looking forward to resupplying in Leadville, my stomach had been on the fritz all morning and I had not been able to eat much. My fumble in BV seemed like even less of a problem as my shifting started causing me more problems heading into Leadville. I could tell my cassette was coming loose and I was relieved to be close to a good bike shop to fix it.
When I got to town, I went straight to Leadvello, where I told Rapha my woes, then left my bike to buy food at the local coffee shop. I bought an iced chai, two veggie quiches, and a handful of baked goods. Real food was just what my body needed and I was able to put quite a few calories down while Rapha not only tightened my cassette, but also straightened my derailleur hanger, my warped rotor, and identified the problem in my shifter (it had an extra click in it, time for a replacement). I was rolling out of Leadville smoother than I had been the whole ride and happy to have a full, if not slightly uncomfortable belly.
The post town glow wore off quickly,. By the time I was turning off the pavement I was ready for another nap. I gave in when I stopped to pee and spotted a particularly soft spot of grass. I was woken a few minutes before my 20 minute timer by a bird that seemed to think I was too close to its nest. It would not stop cawing until I left.
The nap had settled my stomach and I was ready to start trying hard again. I pounded the pedals on the single track to Tennessee pass, but as I got closer to Camp Hale I was already feeling really tired again. Only somewhere in between Kokomo and Searle did I start to feel more lively, and while I was not opening it up on the descent to Copper, I was riding well enough and having fun!
I rolled into the gas station, checked my resupply notes, and started eating and drinking. Hot tea did wonders for my throat which had gotten particularly hoarse over the course of the day. A woman who stopped to ask what I was doing offered me a cough drop after only a few minutes of talking with me.
I decided that chicken flavored cup-of-noodles was vegetarian enough for me and slurped down the noodles while I packed up food for the next stretch. I still had some leftover calories from Leadville, but was happy to be topping off for the long stretch ahead.
I checked Trackleaders on the bike path out of the gas station, and saw I was still ahead of the previous record dot. I decided that would be the last time I would check, since I knew that she did not sleep hardly at all on her fourth night. I had to sleep, and knew her dot would probably pass me while I was in camp; but I also knew that based on my own math I still had a chance of breaking the record. If I was going to make it in under 5 days I had to ride my own ride and stay motivated; trackleaders would no longer be serving those purposes.
I caught Rocky hiking up the 10 mile. I was surprised to see him since he had started out in the lead, but quickly moved past him as I made my way above treeline. On my way up to the summit, while the trail was true hike-a-bike, I was listening to music and hiking hard. Much of the trail up high was more rideable than I expected, and before I knew it I was on the descent. Although the riding looked really fun, I was too tired to enjoy most of it. It took all the mental focus I had to keep from crashing, and I still had to run off the bike and walk in a few parts. When I finally cleared the chunkiest bits of the descent, I was ready for sleep and decided to collect water and camp near the low point before the last Gold Hill climb to the highway so I could start the morning with some uphill.
I found a spot right next to the trail that served me well: good tree coverage for warmth, away from water, soft pine needles, flattish. I ate cheese, pickles and a cookie with my eyes closed before crashing into my sleeping bag.
Day 5
- Approx mileage: 150
- Approx elev gain: 18,200 ft
I slept alright, the usual cough woke me up for less time than the previous night.
I started riding a little bit before 4am, giving myself 24 hours to make it to the finish line. I had planned this push knowing that 24 hours was the longest timeframe I could wrap my head around given my sleep deprivation.
After less than a mile of riding I encountered a Moose that did not seem very interested in moving from the trail. Downed trees on both sides of the trail corridor made it difficult to go around. After what felt like a very long moment, it walked off the trail, seemingly unperturbed, and I pushed my bike past it wide eyed, looking for any signs that it might charge.
The chunk getting down to the highway was mostly rideable, but not much fun, and I was glad to hit the bike path. It was still very dark out as I crossed below the highway where not long after I discovered three incredible coolers of trail magic. I sat down, drank Coke and ate Funyuns for breakfast, and was grateful for the gift. Shortly after I started moving again, I caught up to Rocky, who had taken a nap on the switchbacks up the Swan mountain area. We said our hello’s and after we had made it to that first summit I did not see him again.
I was enjoying the riding, and was sure to keep my rain pants on until the sun really started to warm the day, since this area is always cold, especially in the valleys. I was riding smoothly yet feeling surprisingly unhurried.
I had finally found some peace. For much of the race I had been wrestling one of two unhelpful narratives: 1. I am not trying hard enough; I put all this work into this goal for the last year and now I am not even trying as hard as I should be. 2. I am not going to make it in under 5 days; I should stop pushing myself so hard and finish out this ride more gently.
Neither of these narratives was reflective of my reality or of what I really wanted. I was pushing myself very hard, and I did have the potential to make it in under five days. Regardless, what I was really out there to do was to try my best and put in a big effort. I was finally certain that I was doing that much.
Day five: I kept trying hard. I was pushing my pace setting (and achieving) smaller goals: make it to Georgia pass before 11, make this water stop quick, do not check trackleaders. On my way to Kenosha pass, I received a lot of external encouragement as well. I got passed by a couple Breck Mega Epic riders, which was a good reminder to pick up my own pace, was cheered on by bikepackers heading the other direction, heard the words “new fkt!” from a hiker who knew what was up, passed by some day riders who had been dotwatching and had some more cheers for me.
Then I was onto the Tarryall detour and on my own. I was getting really sleepy as I headed towards the paved section, and by the time I got there I was looking for anywhere that would make for an acceptable nap. A single 5 ft tall tree casting a 2 ft long shadow? ‘Well I’ll just lay down under it and see if it’s comfortable.’ Fifteen minutes later my timer was going off and I was getting back on my bike feeling rested and ready to push to Goose Creek where I would next stop to get water. A caffeinated gel and pop music powered me through the shifting winds while I did my best to tuck on the descents and hammer up the climbs.
I rode just past the turn onto dirt, flipped a u turn, and was excited to see that the road sign said 13 miles to Goose creek. My legs were getting tired from spinning the pedals through the long road stretch and I was looking forward to a minute off the bike while I collected water.
I arrived at Goose creek, and sat down to collect and treat water from the creek (there is a pump at the campground, but last year I found it somewhat strenuous to use). Sitting on the rocks next to the creek, I finally took stock of the food I had left. My suspicions were confirmed; I did not have enough food with me. I had had a sense of how light I was all day, and as I thought back on it I was now sure that I had consulted the wrong calorie count when I was looking at my resupply notes in Copper. I had something like 8 snacks left (100-200 cal each) and about 10 hours of riding. I decided to limit myself to 1 snack an hour and trust that I could push the last one to two hours on fumes.
My rationing plan worked well enough, and while I was hungry most of that last night I never truly bonked.
I thought there was a chance I would find a friendly ranger at the Wellington Lake store to sell me some more calories after hours, but when I arrived at 8pm there was no one except flies ready to bite. The flies were so aggressive they chased me up the last road climb to the turnoff onto single track. Nothing makes you feel slow like trying as hard as you can and still having a swarm of flies follow you with ease.
The sun set shortly after I left the road detour and entered the trail. I on turned my light, ready for the push to my final water source. The miles felt slow after being on the road, but I arrived at Tramway Creek on schedule. I collected water and made plans for a nap since I was once again struggling to keep my eyes open. According to my math I needed to leave Tramway creek by 10pm and since I was leaving at 9:30pm I had time for a 20 minute nap.
I napped a little ways away from the creek, dawning my rain jacket and pants before I passed out in the dirt. When my alarm went off I peeled myself off the ground, ate my last energy gel and drank half of the 5 hour energy I had found (unopened) on the trail.
I was off again.
The miles around Raleigh Peak were longer than I had remembered, but despite some deep gravel, they were fairly quick moving.
I reached the South Platte, my next mental checkpoint, around 12:45am and estimated that I had at least three hours of riding to make it to the finish. I decided not to check my clock until I was on the final descent to Waterton Canyon and instead focus on the trail at hand.
I was climbing hard, riding up some of the more techy bits, surprised by how many switchbacks there were, when I heard a spoke pop. I got off my bike and sure enough one had snapped in my rear wheel. I must have hit a few too many rocks, since it sheared off in the middle of the spoke rather than at the head or the nipple. I wrapped the broken spoke around a good one to keep it from flopping around, then continued on.
I started riding much more gently, walking rather than grinding up rock gardens and picking the smoothest lines I could find on the descent. I knew that there was one small climb before the final drop into Waterton, and I felt like it took forever to get there! The rolling downhill to that point felt like some sort of purgatory, and in my high anxiety riding state (trying not to bash my rear wheel around) the chunky descending went on forever. Finally, I made it to the last bit of climbing, and with a sigh of relief I was at Lenny’s rest, the last of the climbing done at 2:48am. I continued gently down the last of the single track, knowing that the only way I would not make it at this point was if I grenaded my rear wheel. Another careful mile or two of riding, and suddenly I was on the road!
I pedaled all the way into the finish, taking whatever minutes I could muster in those last fast miles. I rolled into a silent finish at 3:20am. I had a quick cry, took a few photos and videos and posted to the Facebook group. I then realized my tracker had turned itself off at some point in the last few hours, so I turned it back on to ping my finish at 3:35am. I called my mom and dad, who were–amazingly– awake, to share in the excitement. After a quick chat I was ready for a nap, so I laid down near the Waterton sign figuring I would wake up when Alex Schultz rolled in a few hours behind me.
Post Race
Some of Alex’s fans woke me from a half sleep about an hour before Alex arrived. They gave me some food and we shared some small talk while we waited for him to come in. Nolan arrived for Alex’s finish as well, already showered and one sleep out from his winning finish. He offered me a ride back to my car, which I was happy to be able to take. A few photos and words of congratulations and I was on my own again. The trail angel whose house we had parked our car at opened his shower and guest bed to me and I was all too happy to take advantage of his kindness.
Clean and dressed in cotton, I put a few calories down and was asleep for the next five hours.
When I woke up, I started catching up on texts, and then headed to the grocery store to prep for Mark’s finish.
It was really fun to ring Mark and Justin Bell in (they finished together) and get to hear more stories from the trail. Since I finished the CTR last year, Mark has been asking me and other racers exactly how you ride 16-20 hours a day, spend a few hours in the dirt and then wake up and do it again the next day. The answer is usually a smile, a laugh and some vague version of “well, you know, you just do.” Now, Mark knows what it is like to be out there, and he is already planning for his next go!